The reason I'm starting this blog up again is basically because my posts on Facebook are just getting to be too damn long. I have too much to say. There is too much going on up in this little melon of mine and for some reason, it makes me feel better to share. And for some reason, a few of you seem to enjoy reading my rambles, so I figure this is kind of a win/win situation ... right? Right.
So let's get to it. Why so much going on? It's simple. At the tender age of 14, my oldest daughter is moving away. It's basically ripping my heart out, but at the same time, the whole point of being a mother (in my opinion) is to raise your children to be the very best versions of themselves that they can possibly be. I'm learning that sometimes, that means we have to let them fly away to chase after their dreams and seize the opportunities that life throws at them. In our case, my baby girl Goo is moving to Switzerland to attend school at an international school. And before you gasp in horror at the thought of me "sending her away to a boarding school in Switzerland" (I always hear Joanna Barnes hissing that line from The Parent Trap when I say that), hear me out. Her father lives there with his wife and their children. He told her years ago that if she wanted to go to school there, he'd make it happen for her. The choice was and always has been completely hers to make. She's gone through an emotional roller coaster that would shame most teenagers' most insane rides, but she's assured me that she's not looking back and knows this is right for her.
So the time has come. The clock is striking midnight and it's time to leave the tea party. Her sisters and I are going to keep the light on for here down in Texas for when she comes home to visit. I wrote a Facebook post a while back that pretty much sums up what I'm trying to write here, so I'm going to do to ol' Copy/Paste thing and share it below. Originally posted on my Facebook page on June 19th, 2014.
I want to share my perspective on the upcoming move that my oldest is about to embark on. I have gotten some very sweet texts, messages and phone calls regarding my emotional state and how I'm coping. I just want you all to know that I really am at peace with all of this.
I am so incredibly proud of who she has already become at just 14. Being a mother has been the single most awesome thing that has ever happened to me, and despite some slips and scrapes along the way, the fact that she has been able to make this choice, despite the pain associated with leaving her home and her friends, with confidence and resolution makes me feel like I got this one right.
I've done a lot of questionable things in my life. I've left many projects unfinished. I don't take a lot of things very seriously, but when it comes to being the mother my girls deserve, I don't mess around.
Besides that, she's not going to a boarding school. She's going to live with her Daddy. She has spent most of her life missing him and now is their time. I got her for the major part of the last 10 years. It's his turn to enjoy having her in his home for at least the next 4 - if not more. She's a blessing and he's a big part of who she is. It's right that he be given the gift of seeing her face each morning.
I'm going to cry. A lot. So will she. So will her sisters. But we're all warriors and our souls speak to each other in a way only we understand. We are a Tribe. We'll be fine. No amount of time or distance will ever change that and if I do my job right, one day they'll all be out in the world, spreading their wings, being awesome and changing the lives of others just as they've changed mine.
So don't worry about us. We're not being torn apart. We're simply spreading out. I'm too full of happiness for her and her upcoming adventure to focus on what's changing in my own life.
Caterpillars don't mourn their cocoons. They celebrate their ability to fly. And her wings are going to ROCK!
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