Ahhhhh ... 2020. You bitch.
There are so many things I have under-written and not written at all during my way too long hiatus (a.k.a. yet another failed attempt at routine), and I am not even sure I can muster the energy to go back and relive those feelings and memories in one or even six sittings right now. However, I haven't suffered alone despite literally being isolated for much of it. The Solitude I feared so much has become a friend I never intended to have - but one I have come to realize I missed from my youth. I need Solitude even though I don't always want it. Silly Solitude.
I have been wanting so badly to start writing again, but I haven't known how to start. I want to make time to read other people's thoughts and maybe look up some old favorites on here. I have got to carve myself out some personal time that includes written expression - both creating and taking in of others like myself (and some not so much). The problem is, I like writing and not just typing ... like physically. I like writing by hand in my journal. The other problem is, I'm also bad about writing in there. But it is good for the really personal thoughts that aren't for public eyes. A little mystery makes people interesting. That being said, I at least need to write in some form about a broad range of things and not just one tiny aspect of my life here and there. The conversations I have with people DAILY has me wishing I were recording because my life is pretty damned entertaining at times! I have been reading more lately though, so I have been putting aside time ... I'll just have to start splitting that time with writing, I suppose. Meh ...
So I'm going to try to start writing ... again. I have so many things to share that I have read and experienced and learned this past couple of years, and I feel like I need to get all my thoughts down so I can look at them from a distance and make sense of them. Things get so jumbled when they collect for too long up in the brain. I have to spill everything out on a table, so to speak, and sort them out once in a while to keep from feeling overstimulated. I require resolution. It's time for me to tie up some issues and address some others, and it's going to be a lot easier if I can make an effort to gradually go through the "junk drawer" in my mind.
I type way faster than I write, so when my brain is spinning like it is today, typing it out isn't near as far behind my hands as when I'm trying to write it all down in a way that looks good for whoever might read it a hundred years from now. Never know, right? Those journals may sit in a trunk or burn in a fire. Who knows? They're cool. They'll be artifacts. But I need a more efficient way to get words down, and since that's something I have access to, it's silly not to use it.
I get a lot more done when I sit at a keyboard and start pecking away at the buttons, making words pop up one after another almost as quickly as I'm thinking them. Ok - not that fast, but close. One thing that's fun to do is to speak a sentence in class while I'm typing in a Word document they can see being projected on the wall. They'll start saying things like "Whoa that's fast" and I'll just start quoting them as they're speaking. Hahahaha! It's awesome. Freaks 'em out.
So this turned into a stream of consciousness-esque ramble blog where I am figuratively sticking my head out from behind the curtain to see what it feels like to be on stage again. It's been a while. I've been in my little hiding place here in Texas, traveled around the world a couple of times, and now it's time to get back to doing that thing I like to do with words. I am hoping that by bringing my blog back to life, I'll be able to keep myself motivated to just write SOMETHING every day. Even if it's a ramble that no one reads but me. Maybe it'll lead to composing something others WILL read.
Could it be that Inspiration is trying to come hang out with me and my Solitude?
Seems I might should put another pod in the Keurig...
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