Wanted: Spell to Stop Time

My big girls came home from Europe a couple of days ago, and since they've been back, I have felt so ... "weepy".  I know I say this all the time, but it really does seem like yesterday that they were squishy-faced babies with sticky hands and dirty feet.  Now they're beautiful young women who get all my jokes and smell like flowers.  I love being with them so much.  I love their company.  I love sharing time with them.  Only - there's the part of me that always wants to cry because they're not my babies anymore.

My youngest is 10.  My middle is about to be 13, and my oldest is 16.  For those of you out there who have already gone through it, how do you suppress that selfish part of you that keeps wanting to ruin your present because it misses the past?  I never cared much for growing up.  I've always been a Lost Boy when it comes to all that, and I was just fine being a kid as long as possible.  I didn't really admit to being an adult until I had a child of my own, and then another and another.  However, I discovered the loophole in being a parent that allowed me to still enjoy being a kid by immersing myself in their worlds.  Now that they're done with building forts and finger-painting, I'm starting to panic.  I found another gray hair (that was quickly plucked out) and have noticed that my body is starting to feel less "awesome" than it used to.  I can't deny the cruel progression of time and how it has turned my soft little rosebud babies into world-traveling, goal-setting, dream-catching Wonder Women.

I'm more proud of them than I can express, but there's part of me that misses their littleness.  I'm dealing with it ... I'll get over it, I guess, at some point.  But for now, I'm just so thankful that even though they're growing up, they still enjoy piling up like puppies on the couch to watch a good movie just like when they were little.  They still let me kiss their faces in public, and they still like to play with my hair and do my makeup.  In fact - that's a perk - they don't make me look like a hooker anymore!

As long as some things never change, I may be ok.  Maybe they'll stay Lost Boys with me and when it's time, we can share our fun with the next generation of squishy-faced babies.

And the Wheel keeps turning ...

My Inner Dialogue Does a 180

The struggle is real, y'all.  I had so many intentions going into this summer.  However, I've struggled to go so far as to put on pants each much less actually get any projects done.  I feel like I am failing at life right now.

All I want to do is read, write, and game.  That's it.  That's all I want to do.  Well ... that and lightly snack.  Ok ... and occasionally drink.  The point is, nothing I want to do is really all that productive.  There are so many things that NEED to be done that are things that would improve our home, yet I can't get myself motivated enough to do it.

I need to paint in the living room.  I need to clean out and paint the laundry room.  I need to organize the clothes hanging in my closet.  There's no organization and it's starting to drive me nuts!

You know - that's it.  I'm going to start small and work up.  I'm going to make Rooster go into that laundry room with me and do something meaningful.  It's only 2:30 in the afternoon.  We have all kinds of time to start and finish the clean-out part.  We're not HOARDERS for crying it loud - it isn't THAT bad.

Awesome ... see?  I'm starting to feel better.  And now that I think about it ... I'm going to sit here and list the things I've done today - "meaningful" or not.

Took a shower
Took my car to get oil changed
Tidied the kitchen/loaded the dishwasher
Washed/dried one load of laundry
Talked to mom/made weekend plans
Finished Part Two/began Part Three of Fahrenheit 451
Took out trash
Published a blog post

That's not a wasted day!  I feel way better now!  Ok ... off to help my kid with a baking question, then I'm tackling the laundry room!

I'M WONDER WOMAN!

Must ... Write ... Something

The struggle is real, y'all.  I have so many things I wanted to get done this summer, and I'm finding that I'm really having to work hard at not zoning out into my computer games.  PC games are the devil.  They're so seductive and before I know it, I've been staring at a computer screen fighting off imaginary monsters for four hours.  I have wasted so much LIFE on Steam's game hub!

But alas ... we all have our addictions, no?

The point is, I caught myself, logged off, and am now writing.  Nevermind that it's 10:30 at night on a Sunday.  It's summer and I'm a teacher, so this is my time to recharge my soul doing whatever it is I need to do in order to accomplish that, and while gaming is enjoyable, part of that "soul-feeding" includes writing.  I need to start making it a habit to write more.  Seriously.

I'm trying to think of an assignment to give myself.  I don't know if I want to construct a poem, write a research paper or a critical essay.  Maybe a short story?  I DON'T KNOW!  Anyone got any suggestions?  Ideas?  I need a prompt!